June 1, 2006

Setting boundaries that others cannot cross

Whether you are dealing with a drug addict or a dysfunctional family member, boundaries are needed.
It must be you, the one being walked on who sets these boundaries. Those who are walking all over you are
not going to back off and grow a conscience out of the blue. They are not going to think about
what is best for you.

They want what is best for them, what is in their best interest. So it must be you who sets the ground rules
for the boundaries which are needed if you are going to be a part of their lives.

The first thing when setting boundaries is to make a plan and STICK TO IT.
I have talked with people who have been on the edge of going off a cliff mentally because of dealing with difficult people.
They say pretty much the same thing. After setting boundaries, for some reason they stop sticking to them and a short time later they are back in the same emotionally draining situation they were at the first.

So here's what you do:
Determine the amount of communication and interaction you can safely handle with the particular person.
If you believe you cannot tolerate any interaction right now, then STEP BACK NOW and gain perspective, sanity, and peace and then
take another look and ask yourself that question again at a later date.

We all have a tendency to put ourselves in situations that we KNOW we shouldn't be in and that we cannot handle.
We do this because we stretch ourselves too thin and believe that we can handle situations we were never meant to.
How can we help others when we are drained, emotionally wasted, and have no peace ourselves?

We all need and deserve the right to separate ourselves from others who will not think about our welfare and have the tendency to use and abuse us.
God himself has given us that right. He has given us discernment in order to help us live our life in the best way possible.

I cannot tell you the number of times that I have had to stop, set down, take a breath and SEPARATE myself from a
destructive situation that another had placed themselves in, only to have ME help them out of it!
Many times I forged right on ahead and jumped into their mess without thinking about what was best for me or the ramifications of my actions.

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