September 1, 2006

What the Bible tells us about Marriage

Marriage was created and blessed by God himself in the garden of Eden. Man was supplied with his helpmeet (woman) by the Lord forming her from the man's side.
A marriage is a celebration of life and of love. A man is to respect, honor and cherish his wife. The wife is to honor, respect, and cherish her husband. When those three qualities are absent in either or both of the partners, there will always be trouble.

I am a woman, and I know as well as anyone how some in church circles tend to demean the woman's role in her church and in her home. But when you do notice this, don't see the culprit as God. For he has never approved of such ideas. The only ones who hold such notions and believe such tripe are those who look on women with a distorted view and who believe they are "less" than man.
From the beginning, God intended for man and woman to love each other and take care of each other. In a marriage, if you have one partner who gives everything while their mate holds back, this marriage is doomed to fail. Resentment builds around such a marriage. The man is to dwell with his wife in understanding and patience. While the woman is supposed to do likewise. This is what I believe.

What we have today is husbands and wives each going after their OWN goals and desires and these are many times self serving. I don't have to tell you that marriages like this are marked for failure.

Just as Christ is the head of the man, the man is given a position of leadership over his wife.
This does NOT mean that he can bully, cajole,or "rule" her in any way that is not godly.

Some men have used certain scriptures in order to control their wives and to bully them into submission. This is not right nor is it godly.
The best way to win the heart of another has always been through love. And is this ever true with marriages. If love is absent, then nothing else will work, nor does anything else
We tend to pick and choose the scriptures that appeal to us and leave out those
that do not appeal to us. Here is one scripture that pertains to both the husband and his wife:
Ephesians 5:33

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Marriage is not to be taken lightly. Many men and women rush into a marriage for all the wrong reasons. Once such reason in our current society is financial security.Now financial security does have a part in a marriage. It is a fringe benefit but is NOT to be the reason that one gets married.As a result of greed in our society today, we have vast numbers of men and women who only bring a penchant of gold digging into a marriage. It ends badly because every marriage is supposed to be centered around Love. What happens to these marriages? They fail because the foundation of the partnership was not one based on love, honor and respect. It was based on greed on the part of one or both of the spouses.

We have beautiful ceremonies and dazzling wedding rings but we notice a lack of strength and substance when we view that same marriage five years or perhaps as little as even two years down the road. What has happened? Well, the beauty of the ring and the marriage ceremony means nothing without the love that it symbolizes.

To sum up the scriptures that are at the end of this article, I have written the following:
To Husbands: The husband is to love his wife as himself. They must give honor to their wives and be understanding toward them always. If you don't do this, your prayers will be hindered. Don't be bitter against them. You are to love your wife just as Christ loved the church, he loved the church so much he gave his very life for it. Your wife is to have power over your body, it is not your own. Do not seek to be free of your wife. Don't try to leave her. You no longer live for yourself if you are married. You and your wife are one flesh.

To Wives: The wife is to be in subjection to her own husband. If you have a husband that is not a Christian, not a believer in Christ, you are to live for the Lord in such a way that your husband will be won over to Christ by your loving and godly attitude and life that you lead. You are not to slander others or partake of strong drink. But you are to be faithful in all things. In the same way that the church is subject to Christ, you are to be subject to your own husband in every matter. You are bound to your husband as long as he is alive, but if your husband dies, you are at liberty to marry who you will.
Here are a few scriptures that pertain to husbands taken from the Gospel:
Ephesians 5:28
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Ephesians 5:23
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.
1 Corinthians 7:3
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
1 Corinthians7:4
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
1 Corinthians 7:27
Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
Ephesians 5:31
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Here are a few scriptures that pertain to wives taken from the Gospel:
1 Peter 3:1
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1 Timothy 3:11
Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.
Colossians 3:18
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
Ephesians 5:24
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:39
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.