October 5, 2010

The Sociopath: Handle with Care and Prayer

The sociopath is a guiltless, empty soul. Always on the prowl for potential victims. They are slick, don't ever doubt it. Many of them have learned
from a sociopathic parent. They have had years to sharpen their skills of treachery. The ones I've known were cold, conniving and above all, superficial. I have sometimes described them as stupid, but I only say that because I had them figured out. Gullible people would certainly not call them stupid, they would tend to believe their slick talk and see them as very wise I suppose. Gullible people admire them. Sociopath's know what you like to hear.
They know your buttons and they will push your buttons if you push THEM. The narcissist pushes your buttons to humor or amuse themselves, but the sociopath seems to have more deliberate reasons for doing so. Sociopaths I've known are allergic to work but always expect someone else to take care of their needs because they feel "entitled" to it. They seem to come and go in a frenzy.
If you get wise to them, they won't stick around for long. There is nothing they detest more than the dupe that has transformed into a wise man and now has figured them out.
They see no reason to be in the presence of one they cannot con. If you happen to get stuck with a sociopath as a family member, you will most likely take their shenanigans until you are weary and then throw up your hands and declare you've had enough. They don't care if this happens as they always seem to find "greener pastures" elsewhere (at least for a time). I've known sociopaths that tend to prey on elderly relatives. In their warped psyche, they see that the elderly are often alone, very lonely, and tend to welcome anyone into their lives who will shower them with attention.
A Sociopath thinks nothing is wrong in conning their elderly mother or father. They don't wince at taking advantage of their own children. These human parasites have no conscience. I have often wondered IF when they lay down at night, they might have an infinitesimal amount of remorse, sadness, call it what you like. But if this were the case, their remorse grows wings and flies away because in the morning they are right back to their old stunts again.
They are game players and risk takers. We are objects to them. They attempt to maneuver us around like checkers or chess pieces on their board of life! What are they hoping to accomplish by this? Their own self-gratification: Getting their needs and dreams met. Whatever the sociopath's "god" is, that is what he or she will strive to extract by using YOU. If their "god" is money, they will focus their time and effort on those who have it. If their "god" is drugs, they will use whomever they can to get the drugs. If it is fame, they will try to hobnob and rub shoulders with the very ones who can assist them in claiming that fame. You have nothing to offer them? You won't be hassled by them.
But it always seems that when they are really down on their luck and have fallen on hard times, they will look you up again. This brings me to one of the most important parts of this article. If you have managed to get rid of the Sociopath in your life, but at a later date they call you, knock on your door, look you up, please do NOT respond to them in any manner. I have learned this only after having wasted years of my life thinking that they had changed and giving them another chance.
I was one who answered that phone, I opened my door more than once and all because I thought they had "changed" for the better. I was always disappointed.

Handle With Prayer:

During one very distressing time in my life in which I was observing a sociopath attempting to con a relative they had already bilked financially in the past, I had a revelation. I sought God about how to deal with the drama and potential devastation this person might cause in my family. Prayer and a long talk with God was my answer. I learned I could not sit around worrying over what the sociopath might do. I now saw this more as a "spiritual" matter than a mental or physical one. When I've been in the presence of a sociopath there was always something in me that made me cringe. I have to be honest, I felt fear. Intimidation is one of the sociopaths weapons in their arsenal and they wield it like crazy. You cannot stop the sociopath. You can keep alert and not pick up the phone or open your door to them. Other than these things, you must handle them with prayer. You must pray that God would take away the FEAR you have towards them. You must pray that God would strengthen you if you happen to have a run-in with these people. You must pray that God would keep his hand of protection over you and your loved ones. And even though most people believe that the Sociopath will not change, you must pray for their salvation. You must pray that somehow (and only God knows how) that they will STOP using and abusing people, that they would cease wreaking havoc and misery in the lives of other people. There has been much debate over whether the sociopath can turn from their wicked ways, repent, and receive salvation. So take that for what it's worth. They have to come to grips with what they have done to others and suffer remorse from it. This is a tall order for someone who is enamored with themselves and views the rest of us as "dupes". They must grow a conscience where there has been none! See what I mean by only God knows how this could ever come to pass? You must keep a watchful eye over those the sociopath is attempting to con and to prey on, especially the elderly. Understand now that I have never known a sociopath to change. Just because I have not, that does not mean that it has NEVER happened. This may seem as though I'm being naive, I'm not, I am just following the biblical principles that we are to "Pray for all men".

They remind me of a roaring lion (the devil) in the bible.
1 peter 5:8
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

The sociopath devours people if allowed to. They will take from easy targets and when they have bled them dry of finances, shelter, assets, they will move on without the slightest tinge of guilt about what they have done. Sociopaths don't miss you. They only miss what you have to offer them.
I always stress that if you have a sociopath in your family, you must stay away from them and if you cannot, watch your back. You will suffer lack due to their "needs". You will have drama, tears, no rest, and a mess on your hands. The sociopaths that I have known won't take a moment of their time to listen to you speak. When you might get a word in, they instantly deny and blame you. They will blatantly lie in order to get this accomplished. I think they know good and well that others around them DO have a conscience, that we DO care about others, (including them) and they use this to their advantage.
I've witnessed these people getting some kind of perverse kick out of using and abusing others. This goes back to what the bible says about them having pleasure in doing these dastardly deeds and in others who do them.

Are they Reprobates?
It is my belief that those who have a seared conscience (sociopaths and some narcissists) are indeed the reprobates we read about in the bible.

Someone who looks an awful lot like the Sociopath is described in Romans 1 of the New Testament:
28: And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;
29: Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,
30: Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,
31:Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:
32: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

In the book of Timothy, we are once again seeing a reference to the "reprobate":
2 Timothy 3

1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3 Without natural affection, truce breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, (did you catch that? they despise those who are good).
4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
8 Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.
9 But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was.

The following scripture reminds me not only of the Sociopath, but of the Narcissist as well. Isn't it amazing that we are given an adequate description of these blood suckers in the Bible?
1 Timothy 4:

1 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;
2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;

Finally, for those who feel I am too rough on the Sociopath, may I remind you that at any time they have had the ability to change their behavior but opted NOT to do so. When we mess up, when we sin, we are SORRY for the sin and attempt to make amends with those we have hurt. Does the sociopath do this? The ones I've known have denied, projected blame, and arrogantly walked away. These people attempt to sway others over to their "side" in smear campaigns against others. If you find yourself the target of a smear campaign, stand firm and understand that if those you love believe the lies of the sociopath, they never knew you in the first place and without them in your lives, you are better off. Who needs someone in their lives (even family members) if they choose to believe the blatant lies that come from a sociopath? Your family and friends who are swayed by the lies of the sociopath are only being mesmerized by the best actors on the planet today. In time, those who were conned will feel like idiots when the mask comes off from the monster. We can only hope and pray that this unmasking happens sooner rather than later.