The sociopath is a guiltless, empty soul. Always on the prowl for potential victims. They are slick, don't ever doubt it. Many of them have learnedfrom a sociopathic parent. They have had years to sharpen their skills of treachery. The ones I've known were cold, conniving and above all, superficial. I have sometimes described them as stupid, but I only say that because I had them figured out. Gullible people would certainly not call them stupid, they would tend to believe their slick talk and see them as very wise I suppose. Gullible people admire them. Sociopath's know what you like to hear.
They know your buttons and they will push your buttons if you push THEM. The narcissist pushes your buttons to humor or amuse themselves, but the sociopath seems to have more deliberate reasons for doing so. Sociopaths I've known are allergic to work but always expect someone else to take care of their needs because they feel "entitled" to it. They seem to come and go in a frenzy.
If you get wise to them, they won't stick around for long. There is nothing they detest more than the dupe that has transformed into a wise man and now has figured them out.
They see no reason to be in the presence of one they cannot con. If you happen to get stuck with a sociopath as a family member, you will most likely take their shenanigans until you are weary and then throw up your hands and declare you've had enough. They don't care if this happens as they always seem to find "greener pastures" elsewhere (at least for a time). I've known sociopaths that tend to prey on elderly relatives. In their warped psyche, they see that the elderly are often alone, very lonely, and tend to welcome anyone into their lives who will shower them with attention.
A Sociopath thinks nothing is wrong in conning their elderly mother or father. They don't wince at taking advantage of their own children. These human parasites have no conscience. I have often wondered IF when they lay down at night, they might have an infinitesimal amount of remorse, sadness, call it what you like. But if this were the case, their remorse grows wings and flies away because in the morning they are right back to their old stunts again.
They are game players and risk takers. We are objects to them. They attempt to maneuver us around like checkers or chess pieces on their board of life! What are they hoping to accomplish by this? Their own self-gratification: Getting their needs and dreams met. Whatever the sociopath's "god" is, that is what he or she will strive to extract by using YOU. If their "god" is money, they will focus their time and effort on those who have it. If their "god" is drugs, they will use whomever they can to get the drugs. If it is fame, they will try to hobnob and rub shoulders with the very ones who can assist them in claiming that fame. You have nothing to offer them? You won't be hassled by them.
But it always seems that when they are really down on their luck and have fallen on hard times, they will look you up again. This brings me to one of the most important parts of this article. If you have managed to get rid of the Sociopath in your life, but at a later date they call you, knock on your door, look you up, please do NOT respond to them in any manner. I have learned this only after having wasted years of my life thinking that they had changed and giving them another chance.
I was one who answered that phone, I opened my door more than once and all because I thought they had "changed" for the better. I was always disappointed.
Handle With Prayer:
During one very distressing time in my life in which I was observing a sociopath attempting to con a relative they had already bilked financially in the past, I had a revelation. I sought God about how to deal with the drama and potential devastation this person might cause in my family. Prayer and a long talk with God was my answer. I learned I could not sit around worrying over what the sociopath might do. I now saw this more as a "spiritual" matter than a mental or physical one. When I've been in the presence of a sociopath there was always something in me that made me cringe. I have to be honest, I felt fear. Intimidation is one of the sociopaths weapons in their arsenal and they wield it like crazy. You cannot stop the sociopath. You can keep alert and not pick up the phone or open your door to them. Other than these things, you must handle them with prayer. You must pray that God would take away the FEAR you have towards them. You must pray that God would strengthen you if you happen to have a run-in with these people. You must pray that God would keep his hand of protection over you and your loved ones. And even though most people believe that the Sociopath will not change, you must pray for their salvation. You must pray that somehow (and only God knows how) that they will STOP using and abusing people, that they would cease wreaking havoc and misery in the lives of other people. There has been much debate over whether the sociopath can turn from their wicked ways, repent, and receive salvation. So take that for what it's worth. They have to come to grips with what they have done to others and suffer remorse from it. This is a tall order for someone who is enamored with themselves and views the rest of us as "dupes". They must grow a conscience where there has been none! See what I mean by only God knows how this could ever come to pass? You must keep a watchful eye over those the sociopath is attempting to con and to prey on, especially the elderly. Understand now that I have never known a sociopath to change. Just because I have not, that does not mean that it has NEVER happened. This may seem as though I'm being naive, I'm not, I am just following the biblical principles that we are to "Pray for all men".
They remind me of a roaring lion (the devil) in the bible.
1 peter 5:8
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
The sociopath devours people if allowed to. They will take from easy targets and when they have bled them dry of finances, shelter, assets, they will move on without the slightest tinge of guilt about what they have done. Sociopaths don't miss you. They only miss what you have to offer them.
I always stress that if you have a sociopath in your family, you must stay away from them and if you cannot, watch your back. You will suffer lack due to their "needs". You will have drama, tears, no rest, and a mess on your hands. The sociopaths that I have known won't take a moment of their time to listen to you speak. When you might get a word in, they instantly deny and blame you. They will blatantly lie in order to get this accomplished. I think they know good and well that others around them DO have a conscience, that we DO care about others, (including them) and they use this to their advantage.
I've witnessed these people getting some kind of perverse kick out of using and abusing others. This goes back to what the bible says about them having pleasure in doing these dastardly deeds and in others who do them.
Are they Reprobates?
It is my belief that those who have a seared conscience (sociopaths and some narcissists) are indeed the reprobates we read about in the bible.
Someone who looks an awful lot like the Sociopath is described in Romans 1 of the New Testament:
28: And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;
29: Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,
30: Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,
31:Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:
32: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
In the book of Timothy, we are once again seeing a reference to the "reprobate":
2 Timothy 3
1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3 Without natural affection, truce breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, (did you catch that? they despise those who are good).
4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
8 Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.
9 But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was.
The following scripture reminds me not only of the Sociopath, but of the Narcissist as well. Isn't it amazing that we are given an adequate description of these blood suckers in the Bible?
1 Timothy 4:
1 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;
2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;
Finally, for those who feel I am too rough on the Sociopath, may I remind you that at any time they have had the ability to change their behavior but opted NOT to do so. When we mess up, when we sin, we are SORRY for the sin and attempt to make amends with those we have hurt. Does the sociopath do this? The ones I've known have denied, projected blame, and arrogantly walked away. These people attempt to sway others over to their "side" in smear campaigns against others. If you find yourself the target of a smear campaign, stand firm and understand that if those you love believe the lies of the sociopath, they never knew you in the first place and without them in your lives, you are better off. Who needs someone in their lives (even family members) if they choose to believe the blatant lies that come from a sociopath? Your family and friends who are swayed by the lies of the sociopath are only being mesmerized by the best actors on the planet today. In time, those who were conned will feel like idiots when the mask comes off from the monster. We can only hope and pray that this unmasking happens sooner rather than later.
9 comments:
I agree with all that you say related to sociopaths and am glad that I have found something from the bible that proves they exist. Unfortunately, I know (and have children with) a sociopath and no, you are being too harsh in this article. I equate their evil to that of a child molestor, which should help anyone reading that does not understand their destruction. These people are able to be evil and selfish in front of their children and to their children, so imagine how they are to everyone else. My ex-sociopath was sexually promiscuous(adults only I hope), unable to tell the truth, couldn't handle his own truth, physically violent, will bully even their mother, and Very disrespectful in anyway.They has no boundaries, morals, and not even mental list of things they should never do. Just as child molestors are corrupt for being attracted to children and yet are able to appear normal or hold down jobs, so is the sociopath. So believe it and beware. The verses in the bible that are listed in this article are very accurate to the lives sociopaths lead. My ex has a very long wrap-sheet to prove it.
Anon, So sorry dear that you have to deal with your sociopath ex. As to them not being able to handle the truth, I can echo what you have said. Some I have tried to talk to would walk away and throw up their hand (as in "talk to the hand") As for the rap-sheets, two I know personally have wrap sheets as long as my arm and one of them has had warrants out for their arrest for many years, how he lays low is beyond me. It's unbelievable that he's been able to fly under the radar of law enforcement this long. Kudos to you staying strong for you and your child's sake. These people are very dangerous and that's where most people underestimate them.
Excellent piece that really drives home how a christian needs to handle an unrepentant sociopath/narcissist. A lot of sociopaths and narcissists like to play on christian's and even know (all too well, sometimes better than christians) verses from the Bible such as: 1 Cor 13:-48. Where love is: patient, kind, etc. etc. etc. But what they DON'T get is (and sadly what a lot of christians MISS about those 4 verses is), love does NOT tolerate many things. And that in 1 Cor 13:4-8, there is as many things love IS (4-to be exact), as it is NOT (4-to be exact). In other words - it shows us some biblical boundaries in dealing with these kinds of people.
This is the truth! The whole truth and nothing but the truth! my daughter is a sociopath - and i've cried my eyes out of her and had to turn her over to God to handle many many times or I would have doubted my own salvation! I can't lead her to Christ -she pretends and prays and then goes right back to lying and play her con games and is very vicious!
She charms my friends so they can't see her because they are not saved they believer her but I donn't i see right through her..game of who can i get to do it for me and then who can I blame!
thank you, you've encouraged me that i'm on the right track through prayer alone!!!
My husband i believe has many traits of a sociopath.....He was adopted from a foundling home when he was four.The 1st year of his life he was in the hospital...and cried so much he had stomach problems..and surgery.My inlaws adopted him when he was 4, and they themselves were somewhat narcissistic.They had one biological child, and she was easy...so they favored her.We have two great kids, but they have had
their share of anger dealing with my husband leaving the family two years ago.Alot of people from church feel that he knows something is wrong, but will not get help. He did go for a psychological eval. with a top notch psychologist, which included an inkblot test, etc.The psychologist told us he needed to see a psychiatrist,he wouldn't go.He had a concusion 5 years ago and the doctor said he had some damage.That is when I saw a real drastic change in his behavior.Its hard for me to figure out what his real problems are...and I still need to deal with him...I have retained a lawyer...but he held back all support so the house would foreclose and we would go into bankruptcy.So the lawyer has said its a mess.His behavior has turned everything upside down. Could a judge make him go for eval?
I left my psych-path narcisstic husband three years ago with my two 9 yr. old daughters. They wanted me to leave and always wanted to be with me. After court cases and lawyers I got full custody of them and he had supervised visits after he attended an anger management class. I recently moved to another state and let the gils stay with him for the summer. Now they don't want to live with me anymore and are even lying about me to a Guardian Ad Litem as we are now going to a custody hearing this Friday. I know he has turned them against me and I am so distraught! Has anyone gone through a similar situation?
The gal that i am dating right now could possibly be stereo typed as one....but i also see her ex husband as one too, after researching it...but the reason i an begining to think she is because i have bailed her out financially, alot here lately(stupid me) and right after i did that she has cut off communication for almost 5 days now, she uses the excuse she has a eating disorder, which can be deadly but like i said before evertime i have bailed her out financially she drops out of site amd uses her eating disorder as an excuse i always hood up for her and protect her because i love her....when she comes back down to earth she acts like nothing is wrong, am i on to something here...any help would be appreciated
i was a widow. was introducedfive yr ago to a man through my family who say he is good to people. generous. fun. hardworking. good manager. w seemed to have a lot in common. he poured on the romanic gestures.in two months asked me to marry him. i said ask again in six months. he told me where he went to church how often who the minister was. we were working on my farm a tree fell on me. he took me to his house while i healed. i thought he was so sweet. we married ten months after meeting. within two months he was throwing jealous fits. turned out his church work was that he turned around in the parking lot when he delivered hay to a friend every other sunday. laughed at me. said he did not lie ti me i just assumed wrongly.he ridicules everyone we know behind their back. he takes from others if they will give but ges furious if accused of taking. conning people out of stuff delights him. he is not generous unless there is an advantage to him. he has received disability for many years but few knew it. he gets friends to help him then conveniently gets sick if they need help. when he ran off my siblings from my land nd threatened death i had enough. i have filed for separation of assets. he agred to terms but never signed the papers. he wont leave. keeps coming around. tells people i had a stroke cant be believed. he knows i didnt want to divorce d t religious convictions so has manipulated everyone till that is my only recourse. he is the good ol boy with everyone. few see what i know. i have tried not to antagonize him. i fear him. ometimes i think it would be easier just to drop everything cause he can be so good. then he will start again and i know i have to get out of this before he kills me or my family. how much is a woman supposed to endure. will God ever forgive me for a divorce. there is no adultery. just jealousy hate greed taking or destroying my and assets autos and needing more and more money to fix things always saying its for me. please everyone entering a relationship keep your ssets quiet. continue to take care of your own business without help or interference. go to church with them at their church and at yours. if something sounds too good to be true it probably is not true. do not make any changes in your business dealings because they ask or try to finagle you to do it. SPs are experts at manipulating. if i live through this i will never date again. BEWARE.
To those who have challenges with sociopaths. As it relates to courts issues know this. Sociopaths/psycopaths think rules and laws are for the weak. They like to challenge rules and laws because for them it is entertainment. They get a thrill for doing so. Remember that they are master manipulators and can twists these laws and rules to suit them. They don't put up a challenge to the laws and rules if it is likely for them to end up in jail. Jail makes them bored because there isn't enough to entertain them. However, they will go as far as they can in challenging rules and laws.
Sociopaths have the ability to con and manipulate lawyers, judges, psychologist, psychiatrist, ect and win easily. No wonder some many women cannot win court cases because psychos have twisted the minds of judges and lawyers to see things their way. Mental health professional end up agreeing with them in counselling sessions as the sociopath make you out to be the bad guy.
For those with court cases you need to get a lawyer with solid experience in dealing with sociopaths. For counselling to mend marriages you have to get a mental health pro who have experience in dealing with sociopaths manipulative tactics.
The website lovefraud.com has a listing of lawyer and mental health professionals who have experience in dealing those people. Also lovefraud.com is loaded with tons of valuable information about sociopaths. I have also read the book "Character Disturbance" The author Dr. Geroge Simon is an expert in helping sociopaths to change. He is also an expert in helping victims to deal with those evil persons.
What I have shared comes from my research into the topic of sociopath. I was the victim of a co-worker friend. I was conned, lied to, manipulated, used.
This person gave me a challenge recently. He owed me some money for over a month and kept giving me the run around when I asked for it. I know he would pay me back but in his own sweet time so in the meantime he gave me the challenge as entertainment to himself. Oh the tactics he played on me. I was reading the book "Character Disturbance" and learning a great deal about sociopaths and psychopaths at the time of his challenge. (People........knowledge is power.) Read as much as is possible about these people. Your knowledge will help you to deal with them. So one day last week I asked him for my money and as he was about to pull a tactic on me I told him to let me know by the end of the work day when he will pay me back.
When work was over he left without me seeing him. The next day up to mid-morning he said nothing about the money. I read from the book that one way to deal with them is to take their power from them because that is why the mess with us. It a power game to them. I confronted him by saying, "Where is my money?" As he was about to open his mouth with a lie I said, "yesterday evening you dodged me to avoid telling me about my money." As he was about to use lie to defend himself and mess with my mind I simply help up my hand and gave him the stop signal and walked away without looking at him. I headed back to my desk.
People, the money that took over a month to be paid over was given back to me in less than half an hour. I told him thanks then cut off communication and dealt with him only on a professional basis. They hate it when you confront them directly and take away their power. I knew from beforehand that he doesn't like to be seen as a theif. The manner in which I confronted him made him out clearly to be a theif. He was able to see the errors of his ways and do the right thing. Had I not done that then the challenge would still be on. Now that he has lost power points with me I now have the upper hand with him. I have no problem getting him to comply with rules because he now knows that I will challenge his tactics and sociopaths hate to lose or get exposed.
I hope this article helped. And remember to read a lot, it is to your own benefit.
Take care.
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