Every Day is a SurpriseWhen you have a drug addict in your life, you never know what to expect.
They survive on drugs and the flip-flopping emotions the drugs produce.
One day all is well with them, the next day you could find out that they
have committed a crime.
But all of this would be somewhat manageable if you could ever trust what the addict tells you.
But instead, you learn to take what they say with a grain of salt. You can never take what they tell you at face value because with the addict, everything they say is tied to what is "best" for them and this most usually always equals up to their ability to use again.
They don't see what relevance there is in being honest with you. You are threatening their existence if you threaten to force them into rehab or to get them help of some other sort.
Separating a User From His Drug
Trying to separate a user from his drug will turn your life upside down.
I have known addicts that have purposefully attempted to get their spouse mad at them so that they can then have a reason to leave the house and get high. They simply pull this bull because they want to have an excuse. Seem incredible? It may be, but it is true. I've seen it happen.
They don't seem to have the guts to just say "look, this is too hard for me, so I am going out tonight and I'm going to use". They prefer to blame someone for doing something they didn't do, get into a fight, and then exit the premises.
They don't care to look within themselves long enough to get to the root of their problems. They would rather lay blame off on some innocent bystander such as their spouse so they can have a REASON to go use again. It matters little to them that this entire projection fiasco is a farce. Projection and blame reigns supreme with the addict anyway. An addict separated from his drug behaves as a small child who cannot abide having his favorite blanket or pacifier taken away from him.
But here's the thing you must get: You cannot babysit an addict . Even if you successfully keep them
from using for a period of time, there will come a time in which you won't be around him or her and that is the critical time for them. We were never meant to babysit another human being. It's not in us to "control" another.
The Friends who are not Friends at all
Users want to spend most of their time with their addicted "buddies".
But they find out quickly that when they get into trouble and need a trusted friend
that none of their buddies are available. This would make a non-user come to the realization that those buddies are not true friends at all. But not the user. He will always come up with an excuse for these buddies of his for not helping him out of a jam. But if you or I are unavailable to the user, he would never let us hear the end of it!
So here it is: The buddies get off the hook for not being a true friend and the relatives or other ones who DO love the addict are blamed when they don't come through for him. Family members of addicts who don't jump to attention when the user needs them are the target for grudges that have no end.