December 7, 2005

Drug Addiction: Shattered Dreams, Wasted Lives Pt 6

Lies and Manipulations

A drug addict lies in order to protect and coddle their addiction. They believe if they tell a lie to you that they are doing it for a "good" reason. Their main reason truly is to get you to back off and leave them alone. But a lie is still a lie and when they cross the line and resort to telling an untruth, they are still a liar no matter how they want to justify or dress up that lie.

I have had experiences with drug addicts as friends and drug addicts as family members. When confronting an addict, what I get is always the same. Their problem really is not their own, they will not acknowledge it nor own it. Their bad behavior is NEVER the problem, it is another's behavior that is causing them grief. Usually they blame the problem on their wife or husband. Sometimes they will toss the blame on another family member. Any old port in a storm will do just fine to them. They are masters at playing the blame game. And they will continue this "passing of the buck" until they make your head spin. When you confront them about their behavior, they will stand and argue with you until you finally tire of their denial to the point that you are willing to accept whatever they say. This is only IF they wear you down to that particular point. But if you stand your ground, they will most likely attempt to have the last word, turn on their heels and walk away from you in disgust. In dealing with a drug addict, I have seen this happen and it is truly annoying to those who are being walked away from.

As I said, lies are told by the addict in order for them to continue using, however, some or many of these addicts are master con-artists as well. They are in active addiction and there seems to be no rhyme nor reason for their constant and steady stream of lies. You should also know that some people who suffer with troubling personality or mental disorders are prime candidates for drug abuse.

There are some addicts who simply do not care about the lies they tell. But there are some addicts who are sorry for the lies they tell.

When you go down the path that leads only to destruction, it is a lonely one indeed. The addict finds that their lies always catch up with them eventually.

I have known some addicts who lie over the most colossal things and I've known addicts who lie over the most trivial of things.

No matter what type of addict you are dealing with, in order for them to even start the process of recovery, they must face the TRUTH. This means admitting that they DO have a drug addiction. And they have coddled and preserved and fed that addiction until now it is a behemoth that they can't even dream of controlling. After sincerely admitting this, they must then take an ACTIVE and not PASSIVE role in their recovery.

From my observations, many drug addicts eventually DO confess the truth of their addiction, but seldom go on to take an active roll in recovery.

They may say, "Yes, I have a problem". Then you, their family member or spouse are SO overjoyed at this turnabout, only to wonder a few days later when they don't come home, what that confession they made to you was really all about? Many addicts seem to take a passive and unproductive role in their recovery. These are addicts who don't care to get clean yet. They have not suffered enough yet. Do they feel BAD? Do they have no shame? A drug addict already feels bad about themselves deep within. Truly, I believe they are walking lumps of shame. To not have shame and guilt eating at them would mean that they have no conscience. They usually act cocky and arrogant and in control of themselves and those around them . But this is only a mask they wear that is covering that part of themselves that they cannot show to those around them. Inside, they are spoiled, frightened little children.

But we must remember that they themselves have chosen to give themselves over to drugs. The decision to go down this painful and destructive path was made by them and not by us. Just say no That commercial always irritated me. Telling someone that has never tried drugs to JUST SAY NO is one thing. But this does not pertain to someone who is in the throws of active addiction. These people have long since said YES and are now repeatedly saying YES to drugs. This is why it's so hard for an addict to quit. The addict cannot QUIT for their family or any significant other. They must choose to stop for themselves.

An important aspect of them choosing to stop for themselves is realizing and BELIEVING what value God places on the life HE gave them. They SHOULD stop because of the pain and agony they are causing those who love them, but the love for the drug overshadows any caring they have for another person, and even though it's sad...more often than not, the love for the drug even overshadows them caring for themselves.

I have known drug addicts who get into a cycle that leads to the absolute destruction of their lives as well as the lives of those who love them.

The drug addicts that I have known start out their Monday's going to work and working until payday. They get their checks, cash them and go STRAIGHT to fetch their drug of choice from their dealers. They then indulge in drugs until the money is gone. Usually this takes a few days and by Sunday they are out of commission until they again get the money it takes to further support their drug use. This is the cycle of addiction and what a web drug addiction can weave in the life of people today.

From my observations, a drug addict who is without money will do anything in order to GET money to buy more drugs. Thieving, lying and stealing are all used in order to keep them high and in control. I have known drug addicts who won't think twice about stealing from loved ones who think the world of them. This is what these people do, for GUILT is NOTHING compared to the addiction that drives them and directs their steps.

No comments: