People addicted to drugs are not primarily concerned with their children or their spouse. What should be the most important events in life are shrugged off as nothing while they go about their lifelong journey, that of obtaining and using drugs.
To them, a job is never good nor bad, it is simply a tool - a means of obtaining the money they must have to buy their drug of choice.
A human being is viewed much in the same way; are you someone that has something to offer them? Chances are they will treat you well until you are no longer useful to them.
The whys and wherefores of Drug Addiction
The drug abuser is driven by his hunger for that next "fix". Instead of God or family consuming his/her thoughts, the drug they crave holds that place. It does no good to yell, cry, beg or plead with a drug addict - for he will hear your words, but your words will not get past his ears. They will not sink deep into his heart - they will not take root. They do not because his desire for drugs will always overpower your words and pleadings for him to please "stop"!The driving force behind drug addiction is Satan. Make no mistake, the person is to blame by the choices he has made. But the spirit of drug addiction is not from God, it is of the evil one, Satan. Driven by selfishness and euphoric feelings, the addict is consumed with ungodly and selfish desires. This struggle will continue until the addict "comes to himself" and chooses to stop no matter what it costs him. See the article on the prodigal son.But sadly, many who abuse drugs never choose to stop. In choosing to continue their addiction, they are unfortunately also choosing poverty, prison or death. Some chronic abusers end up with all three.
When and Why?
When do people start using drugs and Why do they?
1. To experiment
2. To fit in
3. To Escape Reality due to some crisis in their past or present
4. To Retaliate against parental control
Experimentation - Usually in the early teens, although more kids twelve and under are now experimenting with drugs more than ever before.
Fit in - Many who suffer from low self-esteem and lack security start using drugs. The drug is a welcome friend that helps to relieve anxiety, boost self esteem and helps them to feel more secure in the insecure world they live in.
Escape Reality - When you refuse to face and deal with past traumatic experiences, you are locked into a permanent form of "unreality". Drug use is a companion to those who refuse to face their past and this leads to a continually traumatic present and future for them. Just like a person on a treadmill, the person must eventually keep going to feed his habit.
Rebellion - In order to rebel against parental control, kids will try drugs. But this proves to be more detrimental than the person ever dreamed of because drugs do not like to part ways with their users, not ever. In many instances, the user finds himself or herself in a "Till death do we part " strangle hold of a relationship with the drug they experimented with.
Oh, please tell me Why you do it?
Ask an addict this question and you're bound to get back, "What am I doing"? Tell them they're a drug abuser and you'll get, "No I'm not"! See what I mean by talk will get you nowhere? They have the remarkable ability to completely by-pass anything you say to them that should make perfect sense otherwise. That's because if you SAY anything that opposes or goes against that one most precious thing in their life, (Their drug) , then they disregard it.
An addicts mind is wired differently than the non user and it will remain that way until they choose to stop killing themselves and harming those who love them.
This person is on drugs, WHY don't they care about ME like they did before they started using or before their use escalated?
Here's a question I have been asked a few times before..
They care - it's just that the only thing they now care about is maintaining their habit. They cannot care about your needs or feelings. I've seen an addict miss their child's birthday party. I've looked on in disbelief as an addict is too busy on their drug binge to bother with visiting their ailing or possibly dying parent. I've stood by and took note of things those who are not snared by addiction would hardly believe possible.
Drug addicts don't particularly care if the phone is shut off, the electric is disconnected and there is no food in the fridge, or milk for their baby.
But they will care if their supplier is out of town or they run out of money. but the money problem is solved many times by larceny/theft. Many addicts think nothing of stealing from a friend, parent, sibling or child if it comes down to going cold turkey and having to get clean. They are not above crime, period.
How do they Live?
Most drug abusers I've known will only hold a job if forced to. Others will work only long enough to get that paycheck and then squander it on feeding their addiction. If an abuser can find someone to pay their bills and maintain them by way of food and shelter so that they won't have to work, that is accepted very readily by the drug abuser.
A drug addicts main target for making these things a reality for them is often their parents.
They see their parent as an easy target, for what parent doesn't hate to see their child out of money, hungry or sick. So the parent will make themselves along with their money available to their child, the drug abuser all too readily. Many parents never realize that the abuser is taking advantage of them until it is too late. By then the parent has a much lower bank balance and badly frazzled nerves to show for all of the help they've given to their child, the drug abuser.